Never Forget to Always Remember
There are new standards and practices in the country formerly known as the United States of America currently identifying as the New Republic of Dumbfuckistan. #payattentionboomer #dontdeadname If you've been alive for longer than just the last few decades, you may have noticed many not-so-subtle differences from the country that you grew up in. #getoveritbigot
For those that haven't clued in to the "new normal," here is a partial list of some of the current approved thoughts and rules that must guide your life moving forward. Let's call this partial list of twenty things Navigating Dumbfuckistan 101. #takenotescracker
"Turn around."
2. It's never your fault**! You're living your truth. Anyone who disagrees with your truth is a fillintheblankophobe. #betruetoyourself #itsallaboutyou #restoftheworldbedamned
4. Whiteness is inherently evil. Any history books that impart a version of history that tells of any white people being good or creating things is obviously wrong and white supremacist. We all know that white people are racist slave owners, full stop. #damnstraighthonky
5. Slavery is what defines America. Thanks to the brilliant historian Nikole Hannah-Jones, we now know that the entire purpose for America coming into existence was slavery. The occupation of the continent was for the purpose of having a new place for white people to be slave owners. White people were so evil they ordered up the evil honky combo that included a medium drink and some native American genocide on the side. #fuckwhitey #apparentlysheidentifiesasamuppet #muppetcultureappropriation
6. Capitalism is malicious and strengthens white privilege in America. Socialism is where it's at. #noturntablesandnomicrophone
7. The more that a white person claims that he/she is not racist, the more racist he/she is. #fuckwhitey #whitefragility #whiteassholes #whitetrash #onlythingworsethanbeingwhiteisbeingorange
"Turn around."
8. Sexual deviancy and promiscuity is not only normal but necessary and should be championed. Have sex with whomever you want whenever you want regardless of biological sex, age, or any other limiting factor. #stopdemonizingpedophilia #itsmapbigot #homophobe
9. Convicted mass murderers must not be executed ever, but inconvenient pregnancies as a result of irresponsible casual sex must be terminated without delay. #butwhataboutrapeandincestyouinsensitiveprick
10. If you ever have an interaction with police officers feel free to be uncooperative, disrespectful, and aggressive**. Make sure you curse at them and tell them how racist they are for interrupting your day. Whenever possible, use a weapon against them. If for some reason you don't have your weapon, then try to take theirs. #fuckthepolice #bluelivesdontmatter
11. January 6, 2021 was the worst day since the last most worstest thing that has ever happened in the history of human existence. If you don't fall in line with that completely reasonable statement then you are clearly a white supremacist insurrectionist regardless of your actual race, and you must be imprisoned. #ittookhourstocleanupthegiftshop #rayeppswasahero #theywentinsidethecapitol
12. Anything involving the mental health of a person cannot be called an illness. Refer back to #1. #itsokaytonotbeokay #stopmentalhealthshamingbigot
"Turn around."
14. The problem of homelessness, I'm sorry please pardon my white privilege, unhoused people in America will be solved by providing them with illegal drugs, drug paraphernalia, and safe places to do said illegal drugs. Special note, the words "illegal drugs" are not to be taken literally because you can literally take them anywhere with no legal ramifications. #doesnotsoundveryempathetic #givethedrugaddictsmoredrugs #familyfriendlythough
15. You can't be against the infiltration of your children's lives and minds with all sorts of insane sexually deviant shit like drag queens, trans everything, and every other LGBTQIA+STFU propaganda. Wanting your child to grow up normal, old school normal not this "new normal" bull shit, is transphobic, white supremacist, and evil. #titsmcgee #woodshopsafety
"Where have all the good men gone? And where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?" #wtf
"Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night, I toss and turn and dream of what I need." #willafieryunicornwork #whytheknightgottabewhitecracker
16. American borders are obviously racist and must be abolished. However, Ukraine's borders are the most important global issue America has faced since its founding in 1619. The new Republic of Dumbfuckistan will support global superhero Volodymyr Zelensky until the end of the world. #whichisgonnabeprettysoonatthispace #singlehandedlyfightingoffputin #whatastud
"I need a hero. I'm holdin' out for a hero 'til the end of the night. He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight?" #captainukrainetosavetheday #yougobonnie
17. American energy production from fossil fuels must be stopped. #motherearthneedsaherotoo Americans will still use fossil fuels at the same rate. According to the ruling party, it's better for the environment if the fossil fuels are imported at higher prices from other countries especially foreign adversaries. This "more harmful for the environment" need to import foreign fossil fuels that were extracted in a more climate unfriendly way is a crucial step in combatting climate change. #fuckyouandyourmonstertruck #gravediggerisliterallydiggingourgraves #andbyliterallyimeanfiguratively
18. Policing is now a crime***, and it's now legal to commit crimes**. #weneedthepurgesirens According to totally unbiased individuals that were not alive during slavery, policing in America is an off-shoot of slavery. #allcopsarewhitesupremacisteventheoneswhoarenotwhite Pretty much anything that involves white people is evil and must be destroyed. #smartestthingyoueverwrotecracker
19. Women can be men, and men can be women. #wealreadyknewthatbigot That being the case, it is necessary to correct a long standing wrong. #wemuststandanddeliver We will not stand by and let these atrocities stand. All women's public bathrooms in America must have standup urinals for all the women with cocks. Nothing can stand in the way of this obvious act of transphobic agression. #cockinclusivitynow "She wouldn't dance with another. Woooh. When I saw her standing there." #ringoshouldbestanding
Men who for some reason think that they are women need the convenience of pissing standing up in unenclosed bathroom spaces like those lucky men do. #nostanduppissingnopeace Pissing standing up in a regular toilet like every man in America does at home on a daily basis doesn't count. #claustrophobic But, if transwomen are women and women pee sitting down shouldn't transwomen pee sitting down? Wait a minute. "Stand back, stand back. In the middle of my room I did not hear from you." #standdownstevie
Some of you transphobes might think a cock in a women's restroom stands out like a sore thumb. According to trans apologists that is your problem. They are standing up and standing their ground. The question is, "Will their logic or lack thereof stand up in court?" By the same trans logic, it stands to reason that the standup urinals in the men's bathroom must now be removed so that the women that think they are men don't feel embarrassed because they need to use the sit-down toilet. #fuckinginsensitivetransphobe #standingjoke
20. You don't get to complain about the slow decline and/or destruction of the country that you were born in or legally immigrated to. When homelessness and crime begin to skyrocket in your city, check your white privilege, keep your mouth shut, grin, and bear it. #gotanissueheresatissue
"Turn around."
Every now and then, keep reminding yourself that you don't really have a say other than your sacred right to vote. #yaydemocracy #howsthatworkingoutforyou You elect and pay the ruling class to make all the important decisions that need to be made. #rockthevote When those decisions enrich them and disenfranchise you, your family, and your friends, it's too bad. #suckstobeyou
"I don't know what to do, and I'm always in the dark. We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks." #shadowgovernment #itssodark #whydoesdarkalwayshavetobeabadthinghonky
"Turn around."
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the well has run dry.
"Turn around."
Every now and then you have to shut off your brain just in order to get by.
"Turn around."
And by "every now and then" I mean "always," just get ready to die. #wearefucked #nomorebrighteyes
You can always look forward to the grand finale of the global fireworks show brought to you primarily by China, Russia, and the good ole New Republic of Dumbfuckistan. Let's all sing it together. "Trudging back over pebbles and sand. And a strange dust lands on your hand and on your face, on your fa-a-ace." #comearmageddoncomearmageddoncome #bendoverandkissyourassgoodbye
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