Let Your Freak Flag Fly

 Oh, how dare you, Huntington Beach!  #doyoulikeunicorns

Are you sitting down for this?  Get ready to get pissed!  The majority white supremacist insurrectionists on the Huntington Beach City Council voted to fly the Confederate flag and a generic white power flag in addition to government flags over city hall.  #saywhatyoucrackerassbitch  In order to be inclusive and diverse these 4 city council members argued that not flying the Confederate flag would hurt the feelings of the racist ass white people that live in Huntington Beach.  #inclusion  #whitefragility 

Thankfully they did stop short of allowing the Nazi Swastika flag claiming that it was for German white supremacists.  A group of skinheads claiming German heritage kicked over tables, chairs, and trashcans and started moshing in the chamber to violently peaceful protest their identities being excluded.  The entirely white security detail promptly removed the ruffians from the chamber even though at least one guard was observed enjoying the impromptu mosh pit.  #clearlyawhitesupremacist

One of those deeply racist councilmembers tried to justify his position, "In the interest of inclusion we want all groups to know that they are welcome in Huntington Beach especially the white (racist) ones."  In opposition to flying additional flags reasonable Councilman Pat Burns said, "I believe we are all equal and we don't need titles or anything, and that our flags we have that represent our government are what's important to unify us and get over this divisive titling."  #damnstraightpat

The division promoting white supremacist residents of Huntington Beach were overjoyed with the inclusion of their divisive flag.  The left leaning council members and a majority of those in attendance were stunned that the city council would be so divisive while claiming to be inclusive.  "What a fucked up world we live in where division is promoted as inclusion," screamed the unhinged homeless guy on the curb adjacent to city hall.  #standagainsthobophobia  #aredrugsincluded

Obviously, these events didn't happen as I have written except for the Pat Burns' quote.  Unfortunately, the issue is not made up.  The HB city council did vote on additional flags over City Hall.  The vote was 4-3 to not allow additional flags to be flown at City Hall.  So, lower your blood pressure and relax.  No pro white race flags will be flown at Huntington Beach City Hall.  But, that also means...

no Ukraine flag, #butwestandwithukraine

no spoof Mountain Dew joke inuendo flag,  #whataboutinnouturge

no Ku Klux Klan flag,  #fuckthosecrackers

no Ye flag,  #thatmuthafuckabecrazy

no Nazi flag,  #areyouagermanophobe

no Flavortown flag,  #whataboutdinersdriveinsanddives

no ANTIFA flag,  #fightingfictionalfascismwithrealfascism

no CNN+ flag, #asifthoseexist  #ripcnn+  #morelikecnnminus

no Catalina Wine Mixer flag,  #butitsthefuckingcatalinawinemixer

no Confederate, no Redskins, and definitely no Confederate Redskins flag, #twofer  #doublinguponthewhitesupremacy

no Trump flag, #fuckthatfatorangefuck  #clearlyphotoshopped

no Pro Crystal Meth flag,  #yougobrennan

no "Putin shirtless on a horsey" flag, #nicerack  #putinapologist

no alien flag, #illegalextraterrestrialorotherwise

no MAP flag, #unfortunatelynotajokethisflagexists  #standagainstpedophilehate

no Satanic American flag,  #demslovebaphomet

no pro gun Beavis flag,  #irulerule  #gunsgunsguns  #huhhuhhuhshutupdumbass

no NASCAR flag,  #donttrytohangthatflagwithnooseseither

no gay themed pro crime flags, #gaylordingisnotacrime

no BLM flag, #allthemoneywasspenttopurchasemultiplemansionsanyway

no Blue Lives Matter flag,  #fuckthepolice

no United States of Marijuanica flag,  #butitsfromtheearthman  #itsmedicinal  #clearlydoesntcurestupidity

no Austin Powers themed Eric Swalwell flag,  #doimakeyouhorny  #nonoyoudont  #notevenalittlebit

and obviously no more LGBTQIA+WTF flag,  #dontcare  #donotneedtoknowaboutyoursexlife  

etc. etc.  Rumor has it that they were considering carving out legislation to allow a "Fuck Joe Biden" flag because seriously "Fuck Joe Biden," but in the end deemed it retardophobic.  #howdareyou  #itsmentallychallengedbigot

State Assemblyman Rick Chavez Zbur (D obviously)- former Executive Director of Equality California threw a hissy fit after hearing the decision and shrieked, "the City has sent a message that LGBTQ people are not welcome, and is condoning those who target or hate our community."  #soundslikeapersonalproblem  Apparently, if Huntington Beach does not affirm Rick's victim group of choice, then the city is an offshoot of Hell on Earth.  #noproblemwithsodomandgomorrahthough

Democratic Councilmember Natalie Moser worries that this action will maintain the city's reputation as the "Florida of California."  #hopefully  She much prefers government to cater to the specific victim groups that she wants to champion.  Treating all of the residents in Huntington Beach equally is somehow divisive and unfair.  #dumbblonde  #blondeanddemocratmakesforaperfectcocktailofstupidity

Gavin Newsom wants to remind everyone that California is the freedom state not restrictive and oppressive Florida, and also put your fucking mask on and stay away from him.  #shutupandmaskupdummies  #freedomiswhathesaysitis

Regional Director of the Orange County/Long Beach Anti-Defamation League, Peter Levi, claimed "The Pride Flag is not political.  It is about identity and celebrating the LGBTQ+ community."  He did all of this while wearing what appeared to be slacks.  #atleasthavesomeprideandwearlevis  So, Huntington Beach City Hall should celebrate all groups by flying their flags?  #wearegonnaneedabiggercityhall

CEO Joe Hollendoner was absolutely livid.  Seriously people, you don't ever want to make Joe mad.  Are you familiar with the Incredible Hulk?  #totalbadass  #bendoverandkissyourassgoodbye  #orjoerequeststhatyoujustbendhimover

"For a city that prides itself on exercising its rights, it's abhorrently inexcusable to infringe upon the First Amendment rights of the LGBTQ tax-payers; they're sending us a clear message of hate and shamelessly putting young, queer lives at stake."  #dramaqueen  Not allowing a flag is now a hate crime that will endanger lives.  #thatsrightbigot

He closed with a veiled threat to the 4 council members who voted against additional flags and channeled his inner reimagined homosexual version of William Wallace.  #itsgonnabeagaywave

"We will not be relegated to a closeted existence as those days are long behind us, and our people will always find a way to fly our flag loud and proud."  How about live your life, and I'll live mine?  I don't need to affirm your choices just as you don't need to affirm mine.  #getoveryourself

In his head his tirade went a little further.  "Run and you'll live - at least a while.  And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies (white council members) that they may take our flags, but they'll never take our abhorrent sexual fetishes, our unstable mental states, our delusional views of the world, oh and our freedom!"  #dividedwefall  #realitydisproportionatelyhurtsthestupid