Flashback Friday

 

Way back in the year of 1999, I was introduced to the world of live spoken word.  A coworker brought me to a dive bar in Costa Mesa called Club Mesa.  There were pool tables on one end, a bar in the middle, and a small stage with a microphone at the other end.

Random people would put their names on a list and the emcee would call them up in order to perform.  I was impressed with all of these artists for the simple fact that they stood up, put themselves out there, and shared their creations.

I had never written a poem in my life outside of a school assignment.  I also wasn't big on public speaking.  After the first or second week of watching these performances, I challenged myself to write something, put my name on the list, get on the stage, and read it.

In the week between open mics, I came up with something.  That next week my name was on the list. I got on the stage and read my creation thus starting my brief foray into the world of spoken word. 

Over the next roughly 2 years, I wrote a number of things, self published (made copies of writings and stapled them together) 2 chapbooks, and performed on stage regularly.  Needless to say, most of my stuff was garbage (painful to read).  That being said there were a few things that I can still enjoy today, 20 plus years later.

Today's Flashback Friday piece is from my second chapbook, Boring Nights circa 2000.

AFTER THE DUST SETTLES FROM MAN'S SELF-INDUCED ARMAGEDDON, WHEN THE FEW REMAINING HUMANS SURVEY THE RUBBLE THAT THE WORLD HAS BEEN REDUCED TO, RESEARCH WILL INDICATE THAT THE ADVENT OF THE SELF-SERVE SOFT-DRINK STATION AND THE RESULTING UNCHECKED SODA SIPHONAGE WERE AT THE FOUNDATION OF MANKIND'S DEMISE

Certain behaviors are indicative of a worthlessness to society that should not be tolerated.

Example:

While ordering food at Taco Bell, I see a man, probably in his forties, with a woman, his wife or girlfriend.  It doesn't really matter.  Now, this guy isn't a homeless vagrant or anything.  He's no Donald Trump either, but he's somewhere in between.  After I've ordered and I'm waiting for my change and receipt, this guy walks over to the drink station to refill his drink.  Everything seems OK, right?  But, wait a minute.  This winner has a small clear plastic cup not one of the paper ones with the Taco Bell logo.  Meaning, the cheap bastard didn't even pay for a soda.  He asked for a cup for water all along plotting a nefarious scheme to acquire free Pepsi.  He's attempting to disguise the water cup with a napkin, as if no one will notice.  This behavior isn't even acceptable in children let alone a forty-something year old man.  How difficult is it to understand that if you don't have the required ninety-six cents to purchase a small Pepsi then you don't get to drink one?

Solution"

Anyone violating the sanctity of the self-serve soft-drink station should be taken out to the parking lot, stock room, or some other designated area, beaten to within an inch of his life, branded old-fashioned cowboy style "LOSER" on his forehead, and banished from the fast-food community.  But, that's just my opinion.  Maybe I'm the one who needs help.